


All The Way

by chooken



Category: Westlife
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward First Times, Awkward Romance, Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Marcky, Romantic Fluff, True Love, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 04:29:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3236264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chooken/pseuds/chooken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicky knows Mark will make their first time special - if he doesn't kill both of them in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Way

Stood on the overhanging balcony, Nicky searched for a familiar face amongst the masses. A particular face - not just someone known to him, someone he could pass conversation with. The person he loved. The One? Christ, at twenty-one you weren’t supposed to have met The One. How on earth could it possibly be that easy? But when he looked into that face, saw his own love reflected there, there was never a single doubt.

Mark was The One.

A dark head appeared with sudden clarity on the dancefloor, and Nicky smiled. Not dancing, his boy, of course not. All Mark ever seemed to be able to muster up was an awkward shuffle. Just making his way across, towards the bar. Trying to numb the shyness, no doubt, with a heavy round of shots. Nicky didn’t want that shyness to go away - it was too sweet, too sexy, and too precious to be hidden. That lip-bitten look of lust, that furtive glance across a table, that delicate blush that spilled into his cheeks. And then that raucous laughter and crazy sense of humour that was bared when it was just them, being themselves.

“Christ, I love you.” Nicky whispered, that little twinge of splendid panic twitching his stomach. That perfect knowledge that, no matter what he did, he was tied to Mark for life.

He made his way slowly around the balcony towards his lover, his best friend, eyes never leaving the younger man. Mark lifted a glass full of something clear and slightly pink - Red Bull and Vodka, no doubt - Mark’s favourite. Not even two years they’d known each other, and in that time Nicky had gotten to know everything he could about his friend. His favourite drink, his favourite meal, his favourite movie, his favourite book, his favourite colour… and just recently, his favourite things in bed.

It had taken long enough, an agonising amount of time, before he’d finally cornered Mark. But Nicky had belonged to him long before that, wanted nothing but the beautiful, dark-haired boy with the creamy-pale skin and amazing sense of humour. Wanted that kindness, intelligence, thoughtfulness and, god help him, that sexiness in his life. More than anything. And Mark had wanted him too.

But, in that adorable, country-boy way, Mark hadn’t bitten. Had settled for looking yearningly at Nicky, brushing his hand as they walked together. Giving him things that were very determinedly ‘not presents’, but rather things that he’d just ‘seen in a shop somewhere’ and thought Nicky would like. It had been so preciously obvious, enough to give Nicky a funny, tickly feeling in his belly. And when the tension simply became too much, enough to make Nicky pin Mark against the wall and kiss him.

It had accelerated from there at a stomach-twisting rate. Sneaking off for secret groping sessions, making out in bathrooms. Christ, and didn’t Mark just kiss like the devil? Came over all innocent, yet his lips were hot and sensual, his kiss raw and hot and so heady Nicky wanted to die from it sometimes. Good. So good. He made tortured whimpering noises when Nicky nibbled his throat, gasped and panted when Nicky sucked perfect round nipples and nuzzled at his delicious belly, and groaned in a deep, harsh cadence when Nicky took his cock into his mouth.

But there was something missing, something left undone. Too scary to contemplate. Not because it would hurt, though Nicky knew it would, but because when it was done he knew he’d belong to Mark more than ever. Would follow him through the gates of hell. And he wanted it, god yes. Six months of procrastination to admit it, but he did. He wanted Mark…

“Hello…?” A voice interrupted his thoughts and he blinked, his eyes opening to catch the gaze of the object of his affection. Mark smiled, reaching covertly for Nicky’s hand and squeezing it in a furtive moment of connection. “You awake?”

“Yeah.” Nicky replied, looking away when he realised he’d been staring at Mark for quite a long time. Mark nudged him. Nicky shook the thoughts from his head and smiled at his lover. “Sorry, just thinking.”

“Do I have something on my face, or…?”

“No, love.” The endearment slipped out, and Mark grinned brilliantly, biting his lip as his ears turned red. Nicky wanted to hug him, fuck whoever was watching. Instead he leaned in, using the noise of the party as an excuse to put his lips against Mark’s ear. “Just admiring you.” There was a disbelieving snort. “I’m so in love with you.”

“I love you too.” Mark replied, and Nicky felt a nose nuzzle his neck for a second. Heat spilled into his groin. “You look amazing.”

“Not as amazing as you.” Mark snorted again. “God I want you.”

Mark’s breath caught, and when Nicky pulled back he saw large, black pupils and flushed lips. Mark swallowed.

“Yeah.” He mouthed, his eyes running hungrily up and down Nicky’s body. “Fuck.”

Nicky leant in again, his mouth twitching around terrified words, knowing they were meant no less than had he been calm. He wanted Mark. Always. And hell, in a few hours it was a new year! What better time?

“I want…” He swallowed back his hesitation. “…to be with you.”

Dark eyebrows knitted in confusion. “But you are with me.”

“No. I mean, yes I am but I…” Nicky giggled helplessly, the absurdity of his bashfulness hitting him when Mark raised an eyebrow. “I want to… to go all the way with you.” Christ, that didn’t sound right. Like some girl losing her cherry to a highschool sweetheart. But Mark’s breathing sped up anyway, his eyes big and round when Nicky pulled away again. They both swallowed.

“…okay.” Mark said finally, his voice cracking. “I mean, yeah, of course! I’d… I’d love to if…. I mean, don’t feel pressured or anything…”

“I’m not.” Nicky smiled, that desiring look in Mark’s eyes making him want it more with every second that passed. “I love you and I want to share that with you.”

“Wow.” Mark said quietly, glancing about at the other party-goers. Apparently sure that they weren’t being overheard, he turned back to Nicky. “I love you too.” He mouthed, then seemed to think for a split second, his forehead crinkling, making him look both older and younger than his nineteen years. “So much.” He added, then jerked forward slightly as he was bumped from behind, the presence of the crowd crashing back in on them and breaking the moment. Nicky smiled ruefully, wishing they had more time and privacy.

“Later.” He murmured. Mark nodded, giving Nicky a look that blazed with total hunger and total love.

 

*

 

Nicky turned the card over in his hand, squinting at the clear, neat handwriting. It had slipped under the door a few seconds before, while he’d been lying on his bed, but it had taken barely a second to recognise the writing. There’d been enough sweet cards and little notes to know it off by heart.

He smiled, reaching for the bed and picking up the shirt draped there, the one he’d taken off moments before. It had been a long, hard day, especially considering the persistent hangover after last night’s party. Promoting a single and an album was torture when your head hurt this much… and who the hell worked on New Year’s Day? Of the millennium of all things?

He didn’t bother with his shoes, simply grabbed his key and stepped out the door, the hotel carpet soft and springy under his feet. He didn’t suppose he’d ever get used to this kind of luxury.

He walked a mere five yards down the hall and stopped, knocking on the next door along from his.

“Just a second!” A muffled voice called. Nicky waited patiently as the security chain rattled and the lock clicked open, until Mark’s flushed face appeared breathlessly at the door.

“Hi.” Nicky lifted up the card. “You wanted to see me?”

“Erm… yeah.” Mark nodded, glancing back over his shoulder at something. Nicky peered curiously through the gap in the door, but could see only darkness. Why the hell was Mark sitting in the dark? “You… uh… could close your eyes if you want?”

“Why do I want to close my eyes?”

“Erm…” Mark bit his lip, the cogs visibly turning in his head. It was the cutest thing of all time. Today. “Cos… I wanna kiss you?”

“I like kissing you with my eyes open. You look gorgeous while you’re kissing.”

Mark rolled his eyes. Nicky laughed.

“Close your eyes, will ya?”

“Okay, okay.” Nicky did so. He heard the door open, smiling as he felt gentle, soft lips caress his, and smelled the unmistakable aroma of vanilla.

“I love you.” Mark whispered, taking Nicky’s hands and leading him through the door. Nicky felt the darkness close around his eyelids and heard the door click shut. “And I… I wanted this to be special, y’know? Like, I didn’t mean to be girly or anything, but I just thought… I didn’t want you to feel pressured basically and I wanted to make it good… or as good as I could be and… and hopefully that’s good enough cos, y’know, I’m not that, like, experienced or whatever…”

“Mark?” Nicky cut him off, almost able to hear the blush when Mark stuttered to a halt. “What are you on about?”

“Well… you said you wanted to, so I thought…” Mark paused, taking in a deep breath then exhaling it. “We could… you know… go all the way.” Nicky’s stomach fluttered but he nodded anyway, reaching for Mark in the darkness of his own eyelids and feeling an arm wrap around his own waist.

“I love you.” Nicky smiled. “I want to.”

“Okay. Erm…” The arm on his waist squeezed, then Mark laughed softly. “Sorry, you can open your eyes.”

“You sure?” Nicky teased. “I can leave them shut.” Mark nuzzled his neck, a move Nicky had come to equate with shyness and embarrassment, so Nicky opened his eyes with a laugh, his gaze locking into stunned wonder when it focused on the sight in front of him.

“I thought… well… if….” Mark started talking again before Nicky could even take in the small white candles dotting the room, lighting it with a beautiful soft glow, or the deep red rose petals on the white sheets. He tugged Mark’s arm further around his waist, turning in the soft embrace of his partner and feeling strong arms wrap around him. He nuzzled Mark’s chin, feeling tears of sudden emotion burn at his eyes. How could anyone be this perfect?

“It’s beautiful.” Nicky whispered.

“I ran a bath as well. Just in case you wanted… well, I dunno if it might help to relax and… and I got some champagne cos… I didn’t know if you were like, worried or… maybe it might help. Or… if you don’t want that there’s always the minibar and we can have something from there.” Mark swallowed, his Adam’s apple twitching against Nicky’s forehead.

Nicky lifted his head, needing to kiss this beautiful, wonderful boy… man… who had captured his heart so effortlessly.

“I’m sorry.” Mark said when they parted. “It’s really cliché, isn’t it?”

Nicky chuckled. Yes it was, but he could tell it had been done with such heartfelt thoughtfulness and love that being cliché didn’t matter in the slightest. Only how Mark felt about him, how much he was willing to devote. Enough to make Nicky sure he wanted Mark forever.

“It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He replied truthfully, his own grin creeping unstoppably across his face, heart aching with happiness. “Thank you.”

Mark blushed. His red face almost shimmered in the soft candle-light. Beautiful. So beautiful. Nicky tugged him down, kissing his forehead, then each cheek, feeling bashful heat under his lips. Mark’s hands stroked his back.

“C’mere.” Nicky murmured, tugging Mark backwards towards the bed and laying down, tugging his boyfriend on top of him. He could feel Mark’s excitement already, pressing into his stomach, and wondered at just how long Mark had held on for this, waiting until Nicky was ready. It had been a foregone conclusion that it would be this way. Not based on any discussion or preference from either of them (and how could they know preference when neither of them had ever done it before?), but a feeling that this way felt right, that this would bring them even closer.

They kissed slowly, hands roaming up and down each other’s bodies. Nicky let himself sink into the feeling of gentle lips and hands on him, erasing his mind of fear or worry. Mark’s mouth teased his delicately, the hint of desperation building in the edges of their kiss, a soft, loving tongue stroking his so so gently. Nicky’s arms wrapped around a soft, kissable neck, loving Mark’s hands on his body.

“I… love… you…” Mark whispered between kisses, his chest moving harder and faster against Nicky’s, the anticipation building. “I want… you so… much…”

“Mmm…” Nicky agreed, capturing the freshly shaved curve of Mark’s jaw in his mouth and sucking gently, the remains of Mark’s aftershave making his tongue a little numb. Mark whimpered, the bulge in his jeans ever-present against Nicky’s thigh, reminding Nicky of just how young Mark was. Nineteen. Christ, Nicky never could have shown this kind of restraint when he was nineteen. “You’re so sexy.” He whispered as large, strong hands plucked open his shirt-buttons with surprising deftness. Mark nuzzled his neck, whimpering.

“Wanna… wanna feel you… god…” Mark’s voice sounded thick and almost sleepy, filled with deep, insistent hunger. His shirt-covered chest rubbed against Nicky’s bare one as the kisses became more intense, Mark’s tongue pushing deep into Nicky’s mouth and teasing him effortlessly.

Nicky sat them up enough to shrug his shirt off his shoulder, laughing when it fell to the floor in a shower of rose-petals. He felt more crush against his back when it came into contact with the bed, and wriggled slightly, enjoying the luxurious feeling. Then he began to work at Mark’s buttons, tugging them free and yanking the shirt down Mark’s arms and back, letting his lover discard it.

His hands worked their way about Mark’s back, kneading and stroking supple flesh. Mark’s back was broad, yet soft, covered in the lightest dusting of hair, and he arched it so sensually when Nicky’s hands trailed down the bumpy ridge of his spine. A soft, full mouth mapped out the curve of Nicky’s throat, a tongue driving him wild. Mark’s hands stroked at his waistband, teasing.

“You want them off?” Mark sighed, his voice rumbling at Nicky’s collarbone.

“Kinda need them off, don’t I?” Nicky croaked, and laughed when Mark just about yanked his feet off trying to get the jeans and boxers anywhere but covering Nicky.

“Oh.” Mark muttered, looking down through bright eyes at Nicky’s revealed groin. “Nix.” He breathed, before settling down at Nicky’s groin and nuzzling gently at the place that craved him the most. Nicky watched and felt his cock jerk in response, Mark’s mouth making tender stamps of feeling all over his groin, down to his balls, sucking at them, then his tongue tasting the head and lips suckling gently. “You’re so beautiful.” Mark murmured, as though he’d never been there before. Nicky’s fingers caressed soft, thick hair, his other hand curling around a strong shoulder and stroking over the curve of muscle, needing something to ground him against the feelings rushing through him.

“Mark… Marky… please…” He found himself gasping, his body alight with passion and desperation. He could feel his cock throbbing with heat, harder than he’d ever thought possible at the careful efforts Mark bestowed on his body. Mark looked up, his skin soft and radiant in the candle-glow, his eyes bright and warm.

Nicky didn’t know until later that Mark had done his homework, had gotten on the internet and found out that it would be easier if Nicky had already orgasmed. That he would be more relaxed, more pliant, more sleepy. That it would make him more sensitive to pleasure, make it better. If he’d known that, he might have cried. But as it was, all he knew was the hot, soft pressure of Mark’s wet mouth sliding down on his cock, making him cry out and tighten his hold on the short strands of hair curling through his fingers. Mark’s mouth was a haven. Nicky remembered the first time Mark had gone down on him, less than six months ago. It hadn’t been so good, then. Mark had nearly choked and gagged, and they had settled for an embarrassed handjob, Mark kissing his face as though trying to make Nicky forget about that minor disaster.

Nicky hadn’t really minded. He’d just wanted Mark.

“You’re so good…” Nicky panted, moaning and turning his head to the side when a soft, wet tongue licked up his shaft, caressing him. There was a bright, guttering candle on the side-table, its light burning into Nicky’s vision for a second and making him close his eyes. But he looked down again when a hand curled in his own, removing it from the hair Nicky had been so studiously tugging.

Oh yeah. Oops.

Nicky kept hold of the hand, bringing it up to his chest and holding it there with both hands, his heart hammering against Mark’s curled fist. Mark bobbed slowly up and down, just teasing, making Nicky arch off the bed, looking for more. He had the slightly embarrassing idea that he might be begging.

He squeezed Mark’s hand tighter as the movements sped up in a way that was startlingly relieving. Mark’s hand tightened around his as the dark head moved faster and faster, the friction building up while Mark took him over and over, the other hand curling around the base of Nicky’s shaft and pumping in rhythm.

“Mark…” Nicky gasped, his back almost wrenching when he arched desperately off the bed, one hand falling away and gripping Mark’s hair again, unable to help himself. He felt as though someone had lit a match in him, starting a blazing inferno that could only be put out by that beautiful wet mouth surrounding him, taking him so skilfully he could scarcely focus. He felt on fire. The heat was all over his body. He wondered, in his crazed need, that he could see flames.

“Mark… Mark…” He gasped out a ragged chant, looking down to see Mark’s eyes bright and wild with want, his mouth stretched tight around Nicky’s cock. “Mark… Mark… Mark…!”

He felt himself implode and explode at the same time, his back arching painfully off the bed, knees hitching up as all his muscles and nerves bunched. He heard Mark’s satisfied moan in a faraway, distant part of his brain, but scarcely paid it any attention. He was so sure he was on fire, he could feel the heat on his face.

Pain licked at the hand he’d flung out in his passion and he yelped, the pain like a sobering slap in his face. His eyes snapped open.

“Shit!” He cursed, and felt that hot mouth pull away from his sensitive cock too quickly. Flames leapt from the blanket, a starburst of orange and yellow, licking at the scattered rosepetals. They both rolled off the bed, Nicky clutching his hand.

“Fuck!” Mark cried, glancing in disbelief at Nicky, who could only gape open-mouthed at the flames and hold his burned hand, the one that had caught the candle on the table and knocked it onto the bed.

“What do we do? What do we do?” In hindsight, it wasn’t a very manly thing to do, but Nicky panicked anyway.

“Uh…” Mark stammered, while Nicky continued his panicked squeaks, the pain in his hand having decided to really kick in, a large red blister starting to sprout from his thumb. Mark glanced around the room, and then lurched to his feet, grabbing the ice-bucket. Nicky saw the champagne fall and heard the gunshot-crash of smashing glass. A fizzing puddle began to spread into the carpet. Mark disappeared into the bathroom, and a few seconds of muffled splashing later, re-emerged, and proceeded to dump cooling bathwater all over the flames.

They sat for a second - or rather, Mark stood – in stunned disbelief. The side of the blanket was scorched black, the edges burned into rags. The petals had curled into ashy skeletons.

“Don’t… don’t move.” Mark stammered, his voice an empty ghost. “I’ll get you some shoes. There’s glass on the floor.”

Nicky nodded, drawing his knees closer to his chest, the carpet seemingly a sudden death-trap of glass, waiting to strike. The lights switched on, strangely blinding after the candlelight. He heard Mark yelp, and looked up.

“What?”

“Stepped on fucking glass!” Mark griped, hopping gingerly on the foot he’d managed to slip into a sneaker, the bare one held off the ground in one hand. “Hurt like a fucking bitch.” He growled.

“You okay?” Nicky asked, going to stand. Mark waved him back.

“Don’t. I’m fine. No point us both getting stabbed.” He slipped his foot awkwardly into the other sneaker and hobbled over to drop a pair of ratty slippers in front of Nicky. Nicky slid them onto his feet.

“Thanks.”

Mark nodded, staring at the sodden, charred bed again. “Suppose I’d better ring housekeeping or something.” He was still hard in his jeans, but that looked to be slowly changing.

”I’m sorry.” Nicky said softly, feeling awful. Mark had gone to so much effort, and all Nicky had done was manage to set the bed on fire. And not in a positive, figurative way. Not like his poor, burnt hand.

“No. I’m sorry.” Mark sighed, and it was though his whole body sagged at the seams. “It’s all my fault. I wanted to make it really special for you. And I just ruined it.” Nicky was about to argue, but Mark turned a look on him that was so morose Nicky didn’t know what to say. Not while he was curled against the wall of a room that was a disaster of broken glass and burnt, wet rags. “I’ll call housekeeping.” Mark said again, reaching for the phone.

 

*

 

“Well that was an interesting night.” Nicky laughed, looking down at his hand and wishing he hadn’t when he felt it throb. He kept forgetting it was hurt until he looked at it. Or knocked it against something. Or tried to move it. Okay, it hurt like a bastard, but at least it wasn’t as bad as it had been. The hotel doctor had put some kind of cream on and a bandage, and apparently the blisters would be gone in a week or so. They’d told the hotel that Nicky had thrown a pillow at Mark, and had accidentally knocked a candle. Then they’d paid an awful lot of money to avoid explaining why the candles had been there in the first place, why there were rose petals on the floor, and why this shouldn’t reach the press or the other lads.

Back in his room (there had been no other rooms available on their floor, so Nicky had kindly offered his to Mark), Nicky watched his dejected-looking lover move his suitcase in, followed by a toiletries bag, and the bin into which he had scooped the items they particularly hadn’t wanted the hotel staff to see – a bottle of lube and a box of condoms hidden in the bedside drawer, and the majority of the candles.

Mark sighed, laying down on the bed next to Nicky, but just as Nicky was about to roll on top of him, he turned on his side, facing away, and clicked the lights off. The blanket was tugged over his head.

“Night, Nix.” He grunted. Nicky stared at him for a second, confused. The blanket moved slightly with Mark’s breathing. Nicky pressed himself to the younger man’s back, his arms capturing a solid waist that shuddered slightly in his grip.

“It’s not your fault, you know.” Nicky said softly. “It was mine. I shouldn’t have flung my arm out like that.” He pecked the back of Mark’s neck, lowering his voice to a more seductive tone. “What you were doing felt so good I guess I lost control.” He whispered, nuzzling the back of Mark’s neck. “You were so fucking good in there…”

Mark shrugged, loosening Nicky’s grip a little. But Nicky was persistent.

“Good thing we got interrupted, really. I hadn’t taken a shit recently and…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Mark interrupted, his voice small and muffled. “Can we just sleep? Please.”

Nicky considered disagreeing, or demanding that they talk about it, but Mark was downcast and frustrated enough. He didn’t know what to do or say without making things worse. So he nodded, kissing Mark’s neck again.

“Okay, love.” He whispered, snuggling against Mark’s back. “It’ll still be there in the morning.” He paused. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too.” Mark murmured, not pressing into Nicky’s touch but not moving away either. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be…” Nicky trailed off, knowing there was no point. His man could be a stubborn, self-hating git when he got into a mood. “Okay.” He sighed, pressing his cheek to broad, warm shoulders and closing his eyes. “Good night, then.”

 

*

 

Nicky was alone when he woke, yet he wasn’t cold. Not while he was wrapped in soft warm blankets, the imprint of Mark still pressed into the mattress next to him. Feet padded across the carpet nearby, and Nicky sleepily raised his head, watching Mark’s naked back disappear into the bathroom.

“Mmm…” Nicky groaned, burying his head in the pillow again, not quite ready to get up. He lifted his head again, calling drowsily out for his lover, his voice hoarse with sleep. “Where ya goin’?” He asked blurrily. “Come back to bed.” There was a glassy splashing noise that droned on for a few seconds. Okay, maybe he’d let Mark pee first.

But Mark didn’t come back so, hating to leave the warm cocoon of the bed, Nicky swung his legs off the mattress and stood, following Mark into the bathroom.

“Hello.” He murmured, moulding himself to the younger man’s back and feeling the slight shake of his body as he brushed his teeth. “Don’t do that. Come back to bed.”

Mark laughed softly, his mouth a mess of white froth, but when Nicky looked up there was persistent sadness in his eyes. Nicky kissed his shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Mark sighed, spitting into the sink. Nicky raised an eyebrow, picking up his own toothbrush while Mark splashed water on his face.

Arms wrapped around Nicky’s waist and he smiled, pressing back into the warm embrace. This was something, after all, even if Mark was apparently still mopey from last night. Mark’s arms were strong and comforting… but there was something uncertain in them. Nicky finished cleaning his teeth, put down his toothbrush, and turned in Mark’s arms, kissing his neck.

“I’m all fresh now. Wanna taste?” He teased, lifting his head for a kiss. Mark accepted it, and Nicky giggled as their noses rubbed together. He took Mark’s hands in one of his, the other still hurting too much beneath the bandage. “I want you. Come back to bed.” He murmured, rubbing his morning erection against Mark’s. Mark moaned softly, his hips moving against Nicky’s. “Come on.” He tugged Mark backwards, out of the bathroom, and towards the bed, laughing when Mark fell on top of him.

“Hey.” Nicky whispered, kissing Mark’s ear and loving the pleased noise it elicited. “I love you.” He murmured, feeling Mark shiver.

“Why?” Mark said softly, sounding near tears. “Why do you? I just mess everything up.”

Nicky sighed, shuffling up the bed and pulling Mark against him, his leg hooking Mark’s and trapping him. “Because you’re sweet and sexy and beautiful and all mine.” He stroked one flushing cheek with the tips of his fingers, then palmed it gently, caressing. “Last night doesn’t matter. And for the record, that was my fault. I’m sorry I ruined your surprise. You went to so much effort…”

“…and it still wasn’t enough. I just wanted to make it good for you, you know? And I couldn’t even do that. I’m useless. You should just leave me.”

“If I were going to leave you that easily do you think I would have wanted what I did last night?” Nicky asked. “I’ve never wanted to do that with anyone else, and I never want to do it with anyone else in future. It’s a big step for me, and I want that with you. Does that sound like someone who’s going to leave you just because of a little accident?”

“But what if I mess that up too?” Mark’s voice crackled with tears. “What if I hurt you or if it’s not good? What if you never want to do that with me again and…”

“If it’s not good, I’ll tell you.” Nicky replied, stroking Mark’s cheek. “And if we don’t do it again, that doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Would you dump me if I decided I didn’t want to let you fuck me again?”

“No! Of course not!” Mark exclaimed, his hurt clear. “God, how could you even think…?”

“I don’t. That’s the point.” Nicky smiled, leaning forward to kiss Mark gently. “Now come on. If you‘re not inside me soon I swear I’m going to scream.”

Eyes widened with shock. “What… now? You want to…?”

“Course.” Nicky grinned, that fluttery feeling in his stomach exciting now, instead of scary. Mark’s eyes were wide with surprise, but he felt so good pressed against Nicky, his excitement obvious. Nicky ground slowly against him, electricity singing through his body. “Oh…” He sighed, pressing his mouth against Mark’s and kissing him slowly. Mark felt hesitant for a second, but then he returned the kiss, the movements of his tongue and lips bolder as the seconds passed. Nicky laughed as he was rolled over on his back, an armful of sexy boy on top of him.

“I love you. So much.” Mark said, kissing all over Nicky’s cheeks and reaching down to stroke his cock. “Don’t want to hurt you. Tell me if I hurt you.” Nicky nodded. His uninjured hand gripped a broad shoulder, helping him arch against warm, soft skin. Mark’s chest hair crushed against his nipples, his mouth devouring and hungry. Nicky kissed back, the pace almost too much to keep up with.

“You feel so good.” Nicky groaned.

“You too.” Mark panted, and Nicky kissed him deliriously.

“Get the lube. And condoms.” Nicky gasped, sure he wasn’t going to be able to hold on. Mark nodded obediently and got up.

Nicky watched him in awe. Watched him move around the room, the muscles shifting in Mark’s back. His arse was soft and peachy, begging to be kissed and squeezed. Mark’s cock was hard, hardening still, and Nicky reached down to grip his own, the simple sight of the movement of Mark’s thighs enough to drive him toward the edge.

Mark came back, lying down next to Nicky and pulling him on top. Nicky laughed, his stomach flipping over when Mark giggled too.

“Mmm… touch me…” Nicky breathed, his groin catching against Mark’s repeatedly and making him shiver. Mark moaned softly, reaching down for Nicky’s very hard cock. But Nicky shook his head, reaching for the lube. “No.” He opened the bottle, and squirted some into Mark’s hand, using his own to rub it all over Mark’s fingers, making them slippery. Mark’s eyes were wide, his breath coming it short, hard gasps. “Here.” Nicky whispered, guiding Mark’s hand. He groaned when fingers caressed his entrance.

“Okay…?” Mark asked, his lips parted and moist, staring at Nicky as though he was from another planet. Nicky nodded. It felt so good, he hadn’t prepared himself for that. And Mark wasn’t even inside him yet. His whole body burned as fingers stroked his hole over and over, beginning to press hesitantly. He wanted to come. God.

“Feels so… nice.” Nicky whimpered. Which, of course, was an understatement. There was a blinding moment of pressure – the tip of a finger slipping in – making him cry out loud, tugging deliriously on Mark’s hair. “Oh god.” He gasped. “Oh… Marky...”

“Doesn’t hurt?” Mark asked. He was biting his lip, Nicky saw. Nicky kissed him, hard, grinding against him. Mark whimpered.

“More…” Nicky gasped, unable to believe how good just the tip of Mark’s finger felt. “Please more. Please…” The pressure was more all of a sudden, bordering on pain when Mark’s finger pushed slowly inside, going deeper and deeper until Nicky thought he’d either come or go mad. “Ohhhhhhh…” He groaned deeply. Mark was breathing hard under him, Nicky could feel it.

“I love you, I love you, I love you…” Mark breathed, kissing all over Nicky’s face and down his neck.

“More…” Nicky demanded, his voice almost hurting. It felt clogged behind some great wall of mindless lust, put there by the amazingly good movements of Mark’s slow-fucking finger. Mark nodded, and the pressure increased. And oh yes, that one did hurt.

“Ow. Oh. Ow.” Nicky squeaked. Mark’s fingers paused.

“Oh god, I’ve hurt you.” Mark exclaimed, and Nicky felt the pressure abate a little until it was just one finger again. That one began to slip out too. “I’m so sorry! Shit, I’m sorry…”

“No. It’s okay.” Nicky shook his head, biting his lip until the slight burning went away. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.” He buried his head against Mark’s chest. “One felt so nice I wanted another one. It’s not your fault. I didn’t realise…” He looked up at Mark, frowning when he saw the panic in his eyes. “Not your fault.” He repeated. “You were perfect.”

A blush started in the tips of Mark’s ears and spread down his neck.

“You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better.” He held up a hand when Nicky went to argue. “I’m not saying you are. I trust you. But just… for future reference.”

Nicky nodded slowly. Mark smiled weakly. Then they kissed, Nicky capturing a handful of hair and using it to keep Mark’s mouth against his, even when Mark went to pull away. Mark made a funny, muffled laugh in his throat, and Nicky shivered as hands began to roam over his body, teasing and touching, cupping his arse and stroking his back; tickling his sides and making him giggle. But the movements were making them both wriggle, and Nicky groaned as his cock was stimulated.

“Marky…” He murmured against the younger man’s lips. “Gonna come… really soon.”

“Okay.” Mark whispered back, and Nicky let himself be rolled over, his lover settling atop him and reaching down to stroke his already weeping and desperate cock. Nicky moaned, thrusting up into the grip, not sure this was the way he wanted this to go. Yes, he was hard, and Mark felt so good touching him, but this wasn’t the point of the exercise. He related this to Mark, who smiled.

“It’s okay.” Mark replied, kissing his face, the motions of his hand gentle, yet relieving. Nicky bucked into the grip, gasping against Mark’s neck as the pace built. “It’ll be better. You won’t be as tense.”

Nicky agreed, if only because he was right on the edge. It only took him a few strokes and he was coming over Mark’s hand, clutching at him and mouthing his neck, his throat filled with a hundred different pleased noises, all fighting to escape. Mark grunted his approval, and Nicky looked up through blurry eyes to watch Mark, lain over Nicky’s heaving chest, licking his hand clean.

“Christ.” Nicky muttered, feeling utterly boneless, and nothing but pleasure filtering through when that finger began to slide into him again. He arched up, pushing onto it. Mark kissed his neck.

“Okay?”

Nicky groaned something that might have been assent, and Mark chuckled, apparently more confident. Nicky was glad. His man was so beautiful and perfect he hated it when Mark thought of himself as anything less.

“Nice.” Nicky managed, his breath hitching when Mark’s finger brushed against sensitive nerve endings. “I love you.” He added with the last shred of voice that remained. Mark’s lips brushed against his skin, rubbing over his cheek and down his throat, nuzzling gently, making Nicky feel alive with pleasure. Another finger pressed against him, slippery and warm.

“Let me know.” Mark whispered, and Nicky moaned loudly as the finger pushed in, as if there was no more space in his body for sound with those fingers filling him. It felt good now. Sore, and way too full, but the pain was translating to pleasure and making his nerves hum happily. Mark’s cock was pressed against his thigh, grinding gently on him, slick fluid painted on Nicky’s skin.

Mark’s fingers kept stroking, and Nicky wondered idly when the third would make an appearance. Or Mark’s cock. He wasn’t sure he was quite ready for that yet. He felt good, but stretched and tight, and he didn’t like the idea of taking much more.

As though Mark had read his mind, he felt a wet mouth cover one of his nipples and groaned, pushing up into the touch and whimpering as his movements made the fingers shift. Then, as they shifted again, Mark touched something. It wasn’t a small something, it was a big, overwhelming, crazy something that made Nicky arch off the bed in insane pleasure, his body wracked with beautiful spasms, his cock hardening rapidly. This was better than anything – better than a blowjob, by anyone’s standards. This was...

“Okay?” Mark asked, though Nicky saw the pleased, smug smile on his face. Nicky didn’t know how to speak, so he nodded, unable to even close his mouth while he did so. “Good.” Mark whispered, ducking his head to suck Nicky’s nipples again, his mouth wet and talented, tongue tracing the sensitive flesh and teeth nipping gently, exactly how Nicky liked it. When both were adequately attended to, and Nicky was gasping in delirious pleasure at the constant rubbing of his prostate, Mark sat up again, straddling Nicky's legs and rubbing his erect cock against Nicky’s thigh. Nicky moaned. Mark felt so good moving in him.

“Marky… so good… please… more… need more…”

Nicky braced himself for the third finger, but in the end there was no real pain at all. He felt stretched and looser than before, courtesy of the wonderful rubbing of Mark’s fingers at his prostate, and the gently scissoring motions Mark had been subtly using. And it felt so good. He felt so good.

“Yes…” Mark hissed, eyes wide and hungry when Nicky arched his back to accommodate more. “Christ, Nix… you have no idea… So sexy.” He looked up into Nicky’s face with darkened eyes. “I love you.”

“Love you t… oh!” Nicky gasped, fucking himself jerkily on Mark’s hand, the pain negligible when compared with the gorgeous agony of Mark’s fingers on his prostate. “Mark!” He cried, writhing and twisting, feeling the sheets tangle around him but not caring, not when Mark was fucking him slowly and gently, making him feel so alive. His hand dropped to grip his own cock, once again hard and weeping against his belly, and stroked it hard.

“Need you.” He gasped out, not aware of how much until he said it. He wanted Mark in him, more than anything. Filling him up and making him scream in pleasure, connecting with him, making them one person. They already were, just about, but this was it for real… physically. He wanted Mark. Wanted that, wanted to be with Mark. “Forever need you.” He attempted, wanting Mark to know.

“Now?” Mark said, checking that Nicky was sure, bless him. Nicky was sure.

“All the way.” Nicky smiled, laughing breathlessly when he saw the teasing grin on Mark’s face. “Now.”

His body burned with the removal of the fingers, and he felt empty all of a sudden. Missing Mark with a deep, longing ache. A packet tore open and the condom was rolled on. Mark’s cock pressed against him, the head teasing his entrance. Nicky closed his eyes, trying to relax.

“It’s okay.” Mark whispered in a soothing, trusting voice. “Just breathe, Nix. Just relax.”

Nicky nodded. Mark moved.

That hurt. Fucking hell, did that hurt. It was too big, surely too big for him! How the hell could anyone do this? How could they feel this kind of agony and read it as pleasure? It was agony, excruciating. Pain… so much pain. He whimpered loudly, eyes squeezing so tightly they stung, trying to breathe past the pain and his lungs burning. Why was this such a fucking clever idea, again?

Mark shifted, and their lips met. Nicky gasped, and Mark swallowed it. Their mouths brushed over each other, so chaste as they breathed each other’s air.

All of a sudden, Nicky understood.

He wrapped his arms around Mark’s body, holding him close, feeling so connected and perfect. The pain hadn’t disappeared, but it didn’t really matter, not when he felt this good, held in strong arms and wrapped in love. Mark had his eyes squeezed shut too, but as Nicky watched they opened, revealing large black pools, ringed with the thinnest cerulean band. Mark cried out softly, and shifted again, his hands shaking by Nicky’s head.

“Oh… Nix.” Mark gasped, his mouth gaping and cheeks flushed. “Oh Jesus… Nicky…”

Nicky squeezed him tight, and Mark began to move with a grunt, biting his lip and releasing it to draw in another shallow, needy breath. He looked beautiful, moving above Nicky, so beautiful that it didn’t matter that Nicky did hurt. So good that all he could feel was love and ecstasy.

Nicky whimpered when his prostate was stimulated again, eradicating the pain completely and allowing him to move against Mark, the pure joy on Mark’s face incentive enough. He felt so good, so alive. Mark groaned.

“Nick… I… I can’t…” He gulped, eyes squeezing shut again. Nicky could feel pure tension in his body as he tried to hold back, his hips moving jerkily and jolting against Nicky’s arse.

“It’s okay, love.” Nicky murmured, hooking his arms around Mark’s neck and kissing his cheek, trying to calm his boyfriend. “It’s okay. Just let it go.”

Mark cried out in something that sounded like relief, and Nicky clung to him as his hips moved faster and faster, his hands gripping the sheets and Nicky, searching for the release he craved. Nicky stroked him, feeling his own body scream with pleasure.

With a soft cry, Mark pushed against Nicky once more. He shuddered, one hand fluttering on Nicky’s shoulder, the other tugging on the sheets near Nicky’s head. Warmth flooded into Nicky, muted by the condom but beautiful nonetheless. Mark fell against him as Nicky stumbled into orgasm, pumping himself over Mark’s belly, bathed in sweat that mingled with Mark’s, binding them together.

“Oh god.” Mark murmured, and Nicky was left bereft once again, Mark’s cock softening but not slipping out quite yet. He felt almost empty, yet filled somehow, his body shuddering with aftershocks. Mark kissed his throat, puffing shallow breaths against Nicky’s damp skin. “You okay?” He heard Mark croak through the haze in his mind.

“Amazing.” Nicky replied truthfully, running his fingers through Mark’s hair and sighing with happiness. “So good.” Mark looked up at him, eyes still dark, but sleepy now. His hair was mussed up into sweaty little spikes where Nicky’s hands had gripped it, and Nicky giggled, smoothing them out and caressing Mark’s flushed cheeks. He tugged Mark up for a kiss.

“Didn’t hurt you?”

“No.” Nicky replied. He sighed as Mark’s cock slipped out of him, leaving him feeling empty. He removed the condom, knotted it, and tossed it in the bin, then turned them both onto their sides, wrapping Mark’s arms around him and snuggling into the warm, sweaty embrace. “I’ll be walking funny for a few days, but otherwise…” He winced slightly as he went to move, then smiled. It was sort of a nice feeling. “Was too good.”

“M’glad.” Mark muttered, heading for sleepy-town. Nicky smiled at that image, kissing dark hair when Mark began to doze against his chest. “Love you, Nix.”

“I love you.” Nicky whispered, tugging the blankets up over him. “My darling. Forever.”

“Mm… like that idea…” Mark murmured. Nicky felt himself glow.

“Go to sleep, love.” He ordered gently. “I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Okay.” Mark mumbled, drowsily. Then sniggered. “All the way, eh Nix?”

Nicky laughed. “All the way, Marky.”


End file.
